Sometimes life feels like a blur.
It can be hard to notice things.
But these days, more than before, it seems as though no matter what happens, it all happens so slowly. Like one of those scenes from the Matrix where everything turns to slow-motion and you’re left as the observer, even if you’re right in the midst of the chaos.
Sometimes when I cry, I want to jump in my nonexistent car and drive to the park by where I used to live. I never used to like it because it was void of most play equipment that (I thought) was needed for a park. But eventually I saw how special it was. Its so isolated and quiet. There’s hardly anyone around and you can sit and read or write or take marvelous pictures. It’s at times like these (and there have been many lately) where I wish I could paint. I would paint wildly gorgeous trees displaying orange leaves and long branches that stretched out, shadowing the lonely picnic tables.
Sometimes I feel like gasping at God’s creation. With each new sunset and puffy cloud I’m left at a stand-still.
I think that’s why I started liking winter. There’s something about that blanket of white that seems to make the world melt into a silent people, treasuring the simple moments….curling up under blankets, sipping hot chocolate by the fire, reading a good book or just sitting around and talking with a friend rather than going out in to the world to be busy. Same with the rain. Time slows down.
There’s nothing wrong with busy. I hate being bored and most days I want to be somewhere or doing something. But I find that when I take the time to stop and notice the little things, the big picture seems so much more real and true. The little things compliment the big things. I hate being the cause of oversight.
I catch myself staring a lot lately. Today someone asked me why I was smiling and my answer was “no reason”, but there were about a million beautiful reasons cycling through my brain.
God makes beautiful things.